but i'm not looking for an answer
by words-with-dragons
Summary: Some things work out. Some things don't. / ModernAU [Kai/Jinora] Because everyone needs some angst in their lives. A drabble. Inspired by The Answer, Kodaline.


but i'm not searching for an answer

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><p><em>I.<em>

"They're fighting again," she says to him, and it isn't a question. Kai nods glumly in response.

"What else is new?" he says bitterly, because fighting's the only thing his parents ever seemed to do. Jinora places a hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. He sighs, but turns to her, a small smile coming onto his face. "Any problems with you?"

So she tells him. She explains how the kids at school call her a know-it-all and no matter how hard she tries to not let it get to her, it does. She smiles tearfully. "Least I have you," she hums nudging his side playfully. They both let out a laugh.

They're ten, a little more than just a little bit lonely, and sitting under a tree, but hey, they have each other. And maybe things will be okay.

_II._

"Do you think there's a point to it all?" Kai asks.

"Why the sudden philosophical conversation route?" Jinora replies. They're lying side by side in the grass, the summer air warm and heavy, their arms just brushing each other's. The stars are unusually bright tonight; Jinora had even hauled out her telescope with Kai's help. Kai gives her 'the look'. "Okay, what do you mean by 'point'?"

"Like, some great plan in the end? Destiny and stuff," he shrugs. She takes a moment to collect her thoughts; Kai likes that about her. She always tries to think before she speaks - she's considerate when hardly anyone else is. It's one of the reasons Kai's glad she's his best friend.

"I don't know," she says finally. "I'm sure if I believe in an Afterlife. If there is one, I expect you to annoy me for the rest of eternity. If not... Energy cannot be destroyed or created, only changed. Our particles will simply join the rest of the earth's - maybe one day we'll be stardust again. As for a plan, I don't know. It could be all one chess board. Or nothing at all. Both are scary and relieving in their own way, don't you think?"

Kai makes a noise of agreement in the back of his throat. "I guess so..." he trails off. "Jinora?" His voice cracks, something it hasn't done so in a while, not since he had turned 13 a few months ago, and she knows he's thinking about his parents' divorce. "Thanks."

She takes his hand and gives it a squeeze. "Anytime."

_III._

Deep down, Jinora knows it's selfish, but she hates it that he spends the majority of the summer and March Break with his dad, instead of his mom, who lives closer to her. She doesn't get to see him at all.

It's selfish, and at 16 years old shouldn't she know better? But he's her best friend, so maybe she deserves to be a little selfish.

They email and Skype and call, racking up a phone bill that makes her dad go red in the face. When he comes back home (because home is with her, right?) she hugs him so tightly he claims she almost broke his ribs. She gives him a light punch on the shoulder because he can be such an idiot sometimes. But he's her idiot.

That's the way it's always been, and she hopes even once they go off to college in a year or two, it'll stay that way.

_IV._

It doesn't.

Keeping in touch is hard. They struggle. They date people. They grow apart as they grow up, before they can even fully realize what's happening. The emails fade away. The calls hang up earlier and earlier.

She gets a call, though, two months into year three of university, and he says, "My dad's dead." And she knows he needs her. So damn the test she has later on that week and everything else she's putting on hold because he _needs _her and all of a sudden it doesn't matter they haven't talked in almost a year.

When she sees him, she notices the changes. He's taller, broader, but his eyes and hair and smile are the same. He's still Kai; her Kai, her idiot. It's like nothing's ever changed. It's probably highly inappropriate to start kissing him only minutes after the guests had cleared out of the funeral home, but he's kissing her back and he was always one to bring out her rebellious side anyway.

The world spins madly on, but this time they don't let go.

_v._

Life isn't perfect. Tragedies happen, jobs are lost, gained. Friends come and go. But Kai stays by her side and Jinora stays by his, so maybe everything will be alright.

Life is unpredictable. Some things work out. Some things don't. They make it. People ask how, and to be perfectly honest, neither of them really know. Maybe it's because they never really concerned themselves with answers or what ifs, and instead focused on the present. Maybe it's because they were lucky.

Kai proposes under their tree. There's a beat of silence - he feels like a ten year old again - and then she says yes. As the years pass, as they grow up some more but not apart, he finds it's the only answer he's really ever cared about.

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><p><strong> I have no idea where this came from, but... here ya go! <strong>


End file.
